Want to hear about my top 10 myths when it comes to sleep training? You might be surprised by number 5!
As a sleep consultant, I come across a lot of different comments from parents, grandparents, other professionals and everyone in between about sleep training, the effects it has and what we should and shouldn't do. Some of them are correct and some of them are just complete and utter nonsense. Let's take a look at some of the most common myths you may come across when it comes to sleep training.
Myth #1 Sleep training is only for the benefit of the parents
This is absolute rubbish! Whilst sleep training can provide a better night rest for parents, teaching your child to sleep better has huge benefits for the child. Children who don't have fragmented sleep and are well rested typically concentrate a lot better, are less tired throughout the day and often have less mood swings. Let's also put ourselves in our children's shoes for a second, imagine just how frustrating it would be to wake up in the middle of the night and have to cry out for someone to come and help you get back to sleep.
Myth #2 Sleep training always involves cry it out
This is a very common misconception, and is quite often the reason why a lot of people wouldn't consider working with a sleep consultant, but it is so far from the truth! Sleep training is not synonymous with crying it out. There are many different sleep training techniques that don't involve putting a child in a room closing the door and walking away to allow them to cry themselves to sleep.
Myth #3 A late bedtime means that my child will sleep better overnight and wake later in the morning
To be perfectly honest the opposite is probably true, putting a child to bed late in the evening quite often results in an overtired baby who's difficult to fall asleep, who then wakes frequently throughout the night, causing a fragmented night sleep which then leads to waking early. So, just have a think about this the next time you think a late bedtime is beneficial.
Myth #4 Snoring is completely normal
This is by far one of the most dangerous myths I have encountered. Snoring is not normal whether it's in a newborn, a toddler or a child, it is far from normal and it's definitely not cute! Snoring can be a sign of an airway obstruction, allergies and even large tonsils and adenoids. Snoring needs to be reviewed by a doctor as soon as possible. Any clients of mine who disclose that their child stores will be asked to get clearance by their doctor before we work together.
We need to stop normalising snoring!
Myth #5 After I've sleep trained my child, they will sleep through the night
This is one of the biggest misconceptions that I probably come across on a regular basis. In actual fact no one sleeps through the night, every single one of us wake up after each and every sleep cycle overnight. The difference is that you and I as adults will most likely just roll over and go back to sleep, we probably won't even remember doing it in the morning. Children are exactly the same as this, they wake up after each and every sleep cycle, so a child who has not been taught or given the chance to learn to self settle, will likely wake crying looking for help to go back to sleep.
Myth #6 Never wake a sleeping baby
I can't tell you how many times I've heard someone say that you should never wake a sleeping baby, but in actual fact there are many times that it's very much appropriate to wake a sleeping baby. For example, a newborn baby who needs to feed frequently may need to be woken to ensure that they aren't skipping a feed to make sure that they continue to gain weight. A baby who's gotten their days and nights confused will need to be woken during the day to ensure that they aren't sleeping for long periods during the day so that we can promote longer stretches of sleep at night. And because each baby or child can only sleep for a certain amount of hours a day so if you allow them to sleep most of the hours during the day they will in fact wake more frequently overnight, this is why you should be waking them after a certain period of time during the day. It's also important to keep the circadian rhythm in check.
Myth #7 Sleep training can cause damage
There is absolutely no scientific evidence to suggest that sleep training causes any form of neurological damage or attachment issues. This is just the opinion that some people have formed.
Myth #8 My baby will sleep better in their own time
Whilst most children may eventually stop needing the help of their parents to fall asleep, there's no hard and fast rule about when this may happen. You could potentially still have an 6 year old needing help to fall asleep every night. If you're ok with that, then that is completely fine, you do you!
Myth #9 Introducing my baby to formula/solids will help them sleep through the night
This one gets a big fat no from me. This has to be one of the most common misconceptions I hear. Introducing your baby to formula or solids when it's not necessary or they're not ready for it will definitely not improve their night sleep. It can actually make them a lot worse if baby's gut isn't ready to deal with solids, it can make their nights much more disturbed Whilst this might fill your baby's tummy a little more it doesn't actually address the underlying issues that are causing the sleep disturbances to begin with.
Myth #10 Sleep training just teaches your baby to not cry out for help
This one really frustrates me. Sleep training does not teach your child to be quiet it teaches your child to self settle and put themselves back to sleep Your child will still always cry out for help when they need it, please don't even doubt that.
I hope you've enjoyed reading some of the most common myths and misconceptions in regards to sleep training. I think it's time that we stop shaming parent's who don't want to live their lives being sleep deprived.
Claire x
Claire De Simone is the founder of Hush Baby Sleep. She is a certified baby sleep consultant, a paediatric nurse with 10 years experience, a wife and a Mumma to 2 precious little human beings.
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